The Meandering Curmudgeon
POW (proprietor of website, and I’m sure prisoner of woe) had a scare with his puny gall bladder this past week. In fact, it must have scared the crap out of him because he says he has nothing to write. As usual, he called on me, a man of endless resources and talent, to share my deep wisdom and save his sorry butt.
Of course, I couldn’t care less about saving his sorry butt, but it does prompt me to a discussion of one of my favorite subjects, namely, bile.
Why bile you ask? Well, let me attempt to alleviate a modicum of your ignorance, as wasted an effort as that is likely to be. The gall bladder (we did start out talking about the gall bladder after all) is the body’s repository of bile. Bile is secreted by the liver, so the next time someone tells you to eat your liver, they are actually expecting you to ingest bile right along with the extreme grudge you are no doubt harboring at their success. I am an expert in all this. There are acquaintances of mine (friends? Please spare me) who nickname me the Grudgin’ Curmudgeon. I do not in the least mind the name of course.
The word bile, however, has a more metaphorical meaning, namely ill-temper, peevishness, irascibility (an ibility I proudly display at every opportunity, you can bet irasc.) Work on it reader, POW isn’t the only one who can pun.
A similarly delightful word is gall–as in gall bladder, I add for those of you who are terminally dense. Its more metaphorical meaning is bitterness and insolence. You can see why I feel so at home discussing this subject.
Biochemically, bile and gall are the same thing—a bitter brownish greenish yellowish fluid ( reminiscent of the soup my mother treated me to as a child. Ah, the fond memories! ) It is poured into the small intestine where it is instrumental in breaking down and ingesting fats. I’m referring to the bile here, although my mother’s soup quite probably had a similar effect.
Not surprisingly, I have the gall (metaphorical) to suggest that there are many who could use a bit more bile (biochemical) to break down the fats contributing to their excess girth, POW not the least of them. Talk about eating your liver. His spare tire makes the Michelin company feel they need to redesign their entire product line and ramp up their production to regain that competitive edge. Take that you French roadkill fanciers and stick it up your ooh la la!.
(For more adventures in silliness, try the book My Brain Has A Mind Of Its Own.)