In the wake of the rush by other states to move up the dates of their primaries in order to increase their influence on the outcome, the attorney general of state of New York, Comber Follicles, announced to the press today that the New York Democratic primary will take place tomorrow.
“You mean with one day’s notice you are going to organize an entire primary?” asked Mosley Outatuch, the reporter for the Albany Daily Vacuum.
“Ask me tomorrow,” responded AG Follicles.
“Will you be at the polls?”
” No, of course not, the polls will not be open.”
The press room buzzed with confusion.
” You see,” explained the AG, “the primary is always tomorrow. Today is Monday, ask me Tuesday and I will tell you the same thing, that the primary is tomorrow. And Wednesday, and Thursday, and so on. The primary is always tomorrow. This will create a sense of urgency among the candidates that will force them to pay much more attention to our great state.”
“But when do the people vote?” queried Ferlice Emptyspace, managing editor of the website Crapfeed.
“Vote? Hmm, good question. I haven’t figured that part out yet.”
“The point of it all is to vote isn’t it?”
“I suppose that is something of a flaw in our plan. Oh well, we’ll figure it out. Tomorrow is another day!”